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Have you ever been discussing with your friends about a mutual friend or acquaintance and you get to the other person's sexual orientation--at which point someone says, "Oh, (s)he's gay. Or at least bi"? This could happen because you know the other person has dated someone of the same sex, or simply because (s)he sets off the gaydar or bidar.

Why do we say that? I'm guilty of it. I've said it a number of times. I've heard my friends say it.

On the one hand, I guess it's good, because it's recognizing bisexuality and it acknowledges that not only gay people can like people of the same sex.

On the other hand, it makes out bisexuals to be like "lesser" gays.

Have any of you heard people say this? What do you think about it?

This is an awesome response to Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" called:

"I Didn't Just Kiss Her," by Jen Foster.  A lyric is "I didn't just kiss her, I went all the way, and I liked it."

For those of you who share my thoughts on Katy Perry, enjoy.


( Teehee )

 So since it's been a while since anybody except that Lezzie Porno dude wrote something, I thought I'd bring up this issue.  Perhaps it's redundant, but I don't wanna have the latest post on our community to be slash fiction.


Say you're a girl.  You date another girl.  The GLBT community welcomes and applauds you, you are a true bisexual free to fight for the Community and make educated decisions and views.
Now say you date a guy.  You're now straight.  You enjoy all the benefits of heterosexuality so you must be one and gawd forbid you want to get married.  Traitor!  GLBT matters shouldn't concern you anymore, breeder.

I had a lesbian friend say "What do you care?" when I was excited Idaho had allowed gay marriage.  I hadn't ever been as offended by a friend.

This is what I deal with along with many other bi girls who are with a XY.  This makes me furious for a few reasons:

1. So if I'm straight when I'm dating a man, am I asexual when I'm single?  No because sexuality is an inherent part of me.  It's like my shoe-size or my blood-type.  I get some people are more fluid but for me it's part of who I am and who I am is not who I am with.
2. I'm 90% dyke so when I hear that I'm straight all of a sudden it makes me furious to think of the barsexuals who get praised for making out with one girl once (Katy Perry anyone?). 
3. Pretend I was the straightest thing in the world.  I am still allowed to care about LGBT issues.  Where would any minority movement be without majority support?

I've been with a man for over a year.  I love him more than I've loved anyone or could ever imagine loving another.  Have I become more straight since then?  Well let's see.  I have never jerked off to images/thoughts of men, I get highly uncomfortable with hetero fanfiction/porn/erotica, I think women are the most beautiful creatures and just thinking about them makes me frisky...hmm nope "Straight-O-Meter" isn't really goin' off that much.

EDIT://

If a woman is bi and is with a woman--she is still bi.  She is not a lesbian because she is in "a lesbian relationship."
If a woman is bi and is with a man--she is still bi.  She is not straight because she is in a "heterosexual relationship."

The National Union of Jewish LGBTQQI Students's 14th annual conference will take place January 15th to the 17th at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles. As usual the conference will be held over a weekend, and co-hosted by a campus Hillel, the NUJLS leadership conference features workshops, services, community building, and social time. This year's keynotes are Rabbi Bradley Artsen, Dean of the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies and comedian Dana Goldberg!

We welcome students from all sorts of backgrounds (religious, not, newly out, not, liberal to conservative, and more). Workshops, speakers, and text studies address such topics as Judaism and homosexuality, activism, relationships, ethics, coming out, and politics. Last year more than one hundred students came from across the United States and Canada to participate, and we anticipate a similar turnout this year! Registration ($80) includes meals (all kosher), housing, and all conference events. Travel and registrations subsidies are available upon request (in the registration form). View past schedules and register at http://www.nujlsonline.org/conferenceinfo.html

I have two apologies/disclaimers to make.

1.  I know this is a bisexual community and usually I try to stick to issues pertaining solely to that.
2.  Some of the things I list as "masculine/manly" I totally get that a lot of girls like to do.  I suppose I'm just putting it in there to emphasize a point.

But the point is I just uploaded a new picture.  I've considered myself bigendered for a long time.  It leads to a hell of a lot of complications.  Like trying to explain to a boyfriend when I'm with men sexually, I see myself as a male.  Some other things that come with the territory for me are: feeling completely comfortable with facial hair and a package, loving to put on makeup, loving dresses, loving tuxes, loving to make love to men as if I were one, loving to work out and build things, wearing clothing that accentuates my chest, wearing clothing that hides my chest, feeling I am a he or a him, feeling I am a she or a her, etc.

It's tough because I'm not transgendered (I thought I was once) and I'm not a butch anything (even as my male persona I'm androgynous).  I'm just two-spirit.  My female name is Arden, my male name is Stuart.

Thought I'd just write this in case my beard raised any questions.

I've noticed something with the LGBT community.  We say to be bi you don't have to have a 50/50 split of how much you're into guys vs. girls.  Cool.  Yet I've seen this happen many times:

If a girl is primarily into girls and says she's bi, that's pretty much okay.
If a girl is primarily into guys and says she's bi, then gasp!  Straightee!  

At least that's how it was in my school.  I know a girl who's primarily into guys but has been with her girlfriend for years.  I prefer women but I've been with my boyfriend for years.

I suppose I'm preaching to the choir but have any of you out there experienced "you-prefer-guys-so-you-must-be-straight?"